_my love for you;

WaTeVeR!!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

My schedule is super tight for the coming 2 weeks. Had lots n lotsa stuff to do and to attend to. Wats more is that my exams will be nx week. Tis sat will be along day 4 me. 2mrw will be meeting Najib and later shark. Really hope everything will go as planned.

Im a little tired of hearing the same thing over and over again. Not that i am irritated abt it bt the thought of it will make me feel angry all over again. I dont 1 tis 2 be a barrier to anything but the words juz kept playing again n again. Huh... i hate tis.

But since that day, i didnt hear anything from her. May b she dont 1 me 2 feel bad. But i felt tat way alrd. May b i shld talk to her and only then will i have some peace.

Sometimes i wonder if thats the way it shld be. Is it right that things turn out tis way or is it some signs to show that probably its not our time. Or may b its juz a test for me. But y? After that day i dont really feel right. There's like some kind of unfinish business. I dont feel good.

I dont like the feeling at all. Its very uncomfortable. I dono wat else to do. Wat shld i do??? Y?? Y me?? Yes i still cant get over it. Coz it happened to me. So no one else can understand how i feel. Not even you...

Bcoz it doesnt not juz concern my feelings.. but ppl who is so dear to me 2. How can i ever break their heart. How can i ever make them feel tat way.. Wat kind of a person m i??

From now on, im not gona let tat happen. Since no one cares abt their feelings, then i wont care abt others feelings too. I dont believe it... its bcoz i care abt your feelings i made them do something which i tink i shldnt have. But its because we came from tis kinda background. We r taught not to hurt ppl. N not to just say things like as if their feelings dont matter. Thats not the way it is. Is it?

I am also tired of trying to please ppl. So i dont care now. Since the situation is as such.. fine, im gona play it that way. I wana feel good to. I wana say watever i 1 2. N i make sure ppl i love get their say too!!

So yeah, WATEVER!!

-Sign Off @ 23:49 :)

Kisah yg tak sempurna utk kita.... kenang....

Monday, February 16, 2009

Aku akan bertahan sampai kapan pun...
Maafkan aku yg tak sempurna utk dirimu...

Some of the lirik from shark's favourite song..
(the radio juz happen to play tis song as i was abt to type my blog).. wat a nice timing.

Anyway my head is really heavy now. Its spinning!! I dont know is it the right thing 2 do by telling it all.. N im really not sure if i felt better by doin so. But at least its off my chest.

I tink im repeating myself again but i really tot things wldnt b tis hard. Sometimes i really wonder if im strong enuf 2 go thru it all. Or may b im tinking 2 higly of myself n tot tat its no big deal.

I also realise that alot of things changed. Things tat were alien to me now became something that is very normal. I dont like tis change. Is seems tat its really true that i will experience tis change and its giving me a nitemare.

At tis moment, i juz wana turn back the time n remember those days. i really miss those times.

I had a very lousy day 2day... Im suppose 2 be very happy. I look 4ward 2 tis day. Its officially my last day of sch. Its something tat i look 4ward 2... but now...

Im not gona let it happen again. Not when im gona have my exams. Its not gona repeat. Its because of wat happened 7 years ago tats y i m feeling tis way.

Had i not let it get the best of me, i wld not have felt tis way now. People will not look n treat me the way i am being treated. Its my mistake.. a stupid stupid mistake. Look wat happened now.

Im sori... im really sori for not being able to protect u. U've done so much 4 me n tis is wat i repay u. i promise i wont let anyone hurt u ever again.

Im so so sori...

-Sign Off @ 00:23 :)